Hello everyone. From humble beginnings I have become an acute academician. Raise as a Druid, I overcame rampant prejudice to be accepted by the University of Nova Scotia. After majoring in tree ring dating as an undergraduate, I went on to study perseveration tendencies of Bantu tribesman as a masters student, and to then complete my doctorate in applied Xeroxing.

I have been teaching ever since with a passion for imparting knowledge to my students and avoiding the lingering doubts about my acquittal as an axe murderer.

Let me say this. The whole ordeal was overblown. So twelve people were decapitated and buried in shallow graves in Boise, Idaho. So what. It happens all the time. Can you prove I was in that state? No way.

But let us return to a more positive note. After the FBI investigation that REVEALED NOTHING!, I returned to my teaching duties at the Elvis Presley University of Acclaimed Arts. I have won numerous awards for my intellectual acumen and slipperiness.  I remain dedicated to the impartation of knowledge and to the furtherment of whatever I was talking about.