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20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor while drooling with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail".
15. Fire hydrant icon is simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.doghouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by 'Adorable Felines' screen saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb expansion pack.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, ESC and CTRL are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.postal.delivery.
2. Sniffing around the fire hydrant more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
1. TrO{gO DsA[R,tN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *
* (Too Darn Hard To Type With Paws)
© Bizkit's Dogg House
Modified: April 16, 2009,
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