Kathleen Crocker
English
Kathleen also contributed "A
Personal Prison" to this issue of PaloVerde.
Let Me Say…
by Kathleen Crocker
Let me say at the outset
that I am sorry
desperately and utterly sorry
for the utterance of these words
on a page that once belonged to others
more capable, more venerable, more alike,
sorry, sorry, sorry
that what I say is what I say
and that what I mean is never what I say
and that silence doesn’t suit me anymore
and that someone here should listen
more often.
So let’s make it very clear from the onset
from the beginning of the beginning
that beginnings are always lies
told so long ago
that no one really remembers
and please always remember that I said
I was sorry, sorry, sorry
for the letters that spilt from my bloody fingertips
and formed themselves into words
without any conscious effort of my own
of course
oops
interruptions abound
but once in a great while something spectacular
or then
nothing at all ever happens
of any interest to anyone anywhere
somewhere I recall saying just how sorry I was
but these things are bound to happen
again and again and again and again
and all moonlit nights become shadows
that once passed past
some heartfelt apology
for being—ahem—often mayhem
eyes are sometimes opened
but more often eyes are shut and shunted
and some endings start
where startings st-stuttered
but I digress. |
